The Grieving Woman and the Grieving Man When they have lost a loved one, women have a much easier time than men do at openly showing their emotions, and in seeking and accepting help from others. Often women can discuss intense, uncomfortable feelings with family and friends, and they are willing to accept support from a support group of other grievers. They seem to know that grief work takes time and will involve a disruption in their daily routine and activities.
However, difficulty occurs when we expect the opposite sex to react just as we do. Men tend to be more thinking than feeling. For example, men may first need to figure out the implications of their loss before they can encounter the pain of the separation. It is usually easier for a man to feel anger than any of the other emotions associated with grief. They may also experience guilt at having failed to do something. They are much more reluctant to seek help and share, because they value self-reliance. When they do respond to grief, they usually do it through activity.
If you are finding that it seems you aren't supporting each other during the grief process, think about these inherent differences. You may not be feeling the grief less or more, just differently. With understanding of our different styles and strengths, we can pull together rather than separate when we lose someone dear to us.
Affirmation: I will remember that women and men have a different response mode during the grieving process.
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