What can I say to comfort my girlfriend about the sudden loss of her cat? The cat would have been one year old next week. It died suddenly. She took it to the vet for a scratch on the neck. They said it needed stitches and had to be anesthetized. It died. What can I say to comfort her?

Comforter

Dear Comforter,

You are indeed a dear friend, to be concerned about your girlfriend's feelings and wanting to comfort her. There is no magic formula or special set of words to use at a time like this...the best thing that I have learned is to let the person know how much you care. In your own words, you can talk about wanting to hear about her feelings, letting her know that she can cry if she needs to and talk as much as she needs to. You can also tell her of your wish to comfort her, and being at a loss for the right words to do so. This will sound genuine, if it is from your heart rather than anything rehearsed. And she is bound to feel comforted by a genuine expression of caring.

My Best to You,

Kitty

Ask Kitty is a psychotherapist specializing in grief and loss issues which humans encounter when their pets die. She has worked in this area for a number of years, providing counseling to people at this special time of need. She also provides consultation and education to employees of veterinary clinics in her area.